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Money

Are You and Your Partner Trapped by the Money Taboo?

Were you raised with the money taboo? Many people are taught from a young age not to speak openly and honestly about money, even with their loved ones. This might not seem like a big deal, but the money taboo has real consequences. Research shows that arguing about money is the number one predictor of divorce.1 Perhaps surprisingly, more money doesn’t guarantee an end to the arguments. In fact, the financial fighting can get worse as couples earn more.2

The amount of money in a relationship isn’t the problem — it’s how people talk about money. With the right tools, however, you can overcome the money taboo at every stage of your relationship.

Start Talking About Money While Dating

Of course you want to put your best foot forward when you meet someone new and interesting, and talking about money might not be the best icebreaker. As you get to know someone, learn to understand their behavior around money by asking about it. It’s ok to keep it light at first; the goal is simply to normalize talking about money early on, which will make it easier to approach again. Consider asking if your date is saving up for any big purchases. Or if they use a budget in their daily lives. As your mutual trust grows, open up the discussion of how your family handled money issues when you were growing up.

Keep Communication Open as You Move into Commitment

Once you begin a committed relationship, you and your partner enter a new level of financial intimacy. Every couple is different, and together you’ll figure out what financial arrangements work best for you. What matters is that you talk about it. Some ground rules can help, like setting a time limit so it doesn’t become overheated, or rewarding yourselves with something fun afterwards.

Some couples merge their financial accounts, while others are happy to keep accounts separate. People with combined accounts say there’s less opportunity for secrecy and it helps them feel like they are building something with their partner.3 On the other hand, some prefer the independence of their own account and say it keeps the romance alive.4 It’s also helpful at this point to begin working with a financial professional to make long term plans as a unit.

During your money conversations, get into the habit of writing down the key takeaways to share with your financial professional.

Share Your Balance Sheet (Including Debts)

One of the biggest hurdles to future financial plans is personal debt. Even though debt from medical expenses, credit cards, and student loans is common, people can still feel ashamed to talk about it.5 One study found that approximately one in ten people commit “financial infidelity” in their relationship, including hiding debt or having a secret bank account.6

It’s much healthier for your relationship for you and your partner to disclose all your assets and liabilities. It may not sound as romantic as a candle-lit dinner, but consider sharing your credit report. If your partner is reluctant, share yours first as a sign of trust.

Keep Talking — and Save for Retirement as a Team

It takes practice to face the challenge of talking about money, and financial conversations are essential at every life stage. You might assume that because you were successful at paying off debt early in your marriage, you don’t need to talk about retirement. Plus sometimes couples maintain a “my money vs. your money” mentality even after years of partnership.7 A financial professional can help you and your partner define the best retirement path for you both, choosing between single-life or joining-life pension options, for example.

Pass on Good Money Habits

Parents teach their children a lot. When it comes to money, parents often neglect to talk about it, and the topic becomes shrouded in secrecy. Kids then learn by observing their parents, and as they grow into adulthood, they inherit their family’s unspoken financial habits. If you and your partner have kids, talk openly and honestly about money with them as well as each other. That way, you can avoid passing on the money taboo to a new generation.

For better or worse, the money talk requires patience and attention at every step. From your very first date, to passing on strong values to your children, to planning your retirement with a financial professional, it all starts with breaking the money taboo and having a conversation.

 

 

Brought to you by The Guardian Network © 2021. The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America®, New York, NY

2021-123901 Exp. 7/2023

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The content is developed from sources believed to be providing accurate information. The information in this material is not intended as tax or legal advice. Please consult legal or tax professionals for specific information regarding your individual situation. Some of this material was developed and produced by FMG Suite to provide information on a topic that may be of interest. FMG Suite is not affiliated with the named representative, broker - dealer, state - or SEC - registered investment advisory firm. The opinions expressed and material provided are for general information, and should not be considered a solicitation for the purchase or sale of any security.

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Nick Saleem

Securities products offered through Park Avenue Securities LLC (PAS), member FINRA, SIPC.OSJ: 355 Lexington Avenue, 9 Fl., New York, NY 10017, Phone # 212-541-8800. PAS is a wholly owned subsidiary of Guardian Life Insurance Company of America® (Guardian), New York, NY. United Wealth Group LLC is not an affiliate or subsidiary of PAS or Guardian. AR Insurance License #2973673. CA Insurance License #0H03588. 

Asghar Kazim

Securities products and advisory services offered through Park Avenue Securities LLC (PAS), member FINRA, SIPC. OSJ: 355 Lexington Avenue, 9th Floor, New York, N Y 10017- 6603, Phone # 212-541-8800. PAS is a wholly owned subsidiary of The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America® (Guardian), New York, NY.  United Wealth Group LLC is not an affiliate or subsidiary of PAS or Guardian. California Insurance License # 0C53306.  AR Insurance License #703269.

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Princeton Executive Center
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